


Nothing breaks your heart

by skullage



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M, Mild Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-19
Updated: 2017-02-19
Packaged: 2018-09-25 13:07:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9821903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skullage/pseuds/skullage
Summary: They meet on a Thursday.





	

They meet on a Thursday before semester starts, at orientation. Changkyun has to squeeze through half a row of students to nab the last seat and trips over someone’s feet when he gets there, into someone else’s lap, spilling half the contents of his bag as he falls. It’s dark in the theatre as the What To Expect When You’re Studying plays on without interruption, and Changkyun can almost make out the guy’s face, scrunched up in laughter as he helps Changkyun up and into the seat beside him. 

“Thanks,” Changkyun mumbles. 

“No problem,” the guy says, and somebody shushes them.

//

His roommate is ok. He’s nice, and cute, which Changkyun is trying to pay less attention to than study, but he plays music through his headphones so loud Changkyun can’t concentrate. They don’t talk much for the first week, because Changkyun escapes to the library and the various coffee shops around campus to study. 

He gets back to his room early, exhausted even though it’s only Wednesday, and Jooheon isn’t working on his music for once, he’s reading a comic book on his bed. 

He looks up when Changkyun comes in, startled like he’s been caught doing something wrong. “Oh, thank god it’s you,” Jooheon says, and, they’re not friends or anything, haven’t even known each other that long, but Changkyun’s so lonely being away from home and his friends that the words make his chest hurt. 

“Who did you think it was going to be?”

“My ex.”

Changkyun throws his bag onto his bed and drops down onto it. “Nope, just me.” He’s too wired on caffeine to fall asleep instantly, still has three papers to read before Friday and another one to draft, so he just lays there, contemplating the importance of down time, while Jooheon casually flips pages every minute or so. “Girls aren’t even allowed in this dorm, so I wouldn’t be worried about her bursting in on you.”

“My ex is a guy,” Jooheon says, so casually that Changkyun wonders if he even said it, if Changkyun just imagined him saying it. “His room is a few doors down, and he somehow found out where I am.”

“Oh,” Changkyun says, willing his heart rate to return to normal. “So you’re,” he starts, looking at the ceiling instead of Jooheon. 

“A homo? Yeah.”

“Cool,” Changkyun says, “that’s cool.”

They don’t talk for a while, and Changkyun spends the rest of the night imagining how that conversation should have gone.

//

He’s a rapper, and Changkyun finds out when he walks in on Jooheon practising, crouched over his desk and spitting into his microphone headset. Jooheon doesn’t notice at first because he’s got his eyes closed, and Changkyun stands at the door, silent, just listening to Jooheon rap. It’s over in a minute but Changkyun is awed the whole time -- at Jooheon’s mastery of words, at his flow. Changkyun’s spent his childhood listening to Verbal Jint and Seo Taiji and knows enough to know how good Jooheon is. 

He glances up from his computer and spots Changkyun, who’s still standing in the door with his bag in hand.

“I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

Jooheon waves him off. “It’s okay, I was just finishing.”

Despite Jooheon’s insistence, Changkyun still feels like he’s intruding, that it was a moment not meant for him.

//

The first time Changkyun sees Jooheon outside of the dorm, he’s not wearing sweatpants and looks like he’s slept in the last day. He’s sitting on the green with a group of equally attractive friends and when he sees Changkyun he beckons him over, pats the space beside him for Changkyun to sit. 

Changkyun’s got a class on 20th Century female poets in eight minutes but he sits down anyway as Jooheon introduces him. Kihyun’s got bright pink hair and one ear pierced all over, Wonho and Hyungwon look like they just stepped out of Vogue, Shownu obviously lives at the gym and only left it to make everyone else’s biceps feel inferior, and Minhyuk may have overdosed on caffeine and probably needs to go to the hospital in the next twelve seconds. When Changkyun mentions this, Jooheon laughs him off and says that’s just Minhyuk. 

Their fingers touch where they’re leaning on the ground and Changkyun thinks it’s an accident, but neither of them move their hands.

//

It’s easier when Jooheon’s around. Changkyun doesn’t know what to make of that, but he feels it more intensely than he feels anything else. He starts to measure time and distance relative to how far apart they are, how many hours it’s been since he made Jooheon laugh or look at Changkyun like Changkyun’s something to be impressed by. It gets him through the first semester, knowing Jooheon is going to be there when he gets back to the dorm; it helps him pass all his classes with something to look forward to. He knows it’s only temporary, but it’s the one thing he’s got.

//

They kiss on a Thursday. Rain splatters against their window and Jooheon’s bored and Changkyun’s crawling out of his skin with the need to touch him, not satisfied with his arm around Changkyun’s shoulder or ruffling his hair like they’re buddies. Changkyun wants more. 

They’re sitting up against the wall on Jooheon’s bed watching a drama, Changkyun’s already forgotten the name, and he puts a shaking hand on Jooheon’s thigh, glancing over at him to guage his reaction. Jooheon’s eyebrows shoot up but he’s still looking at his laptop and Changkyun almost takes his hand away before he becomes brave and leans over, directing Jooheon’s jaw to face him, kissing him lightly. 

It’s a peck, it’s nothing, but it makes his intentions clear. It’s an invitation for Jooheon to do more if he wants. When he pulls back, Jooheon’s looking at him like he’s annoyed.

“I’m not an experiment,” he says, and it forces all the air from Changkyun’s lungs. “I’m a person, I’m not some guy you can fuck around with on the side and then ditch for whatever girl comes your way.”

Of course. Of course he would think that Changkyun was just fooling around. 

“I know,” Changkyun says, with as much sincerity as he can muster. “I’m not going to -- I wouldn’t do that to you.” 

Jooheon takes a moment before he does anything, and it’s the longest moment of Changkyun’s life, feeling like he’s aged sixty years by the time it’s over and Jooheon leans in to kiss him back, and this, this is what Changkyun’s been waiting for, Jooheon’s lips pressed against his, tongue licking at the seam of them and into his mouth, pushing the laptop aside so he can manoeuvre Changkyun around on the bed and get on top of him.

//

It happens semi-regularly after that. They still have homework and assignments and friends and Changkyun finds a guitar at a second-hand store for 10,000 won and teaches himself to play it, and he listens to Jooheon’s rap and gives notes where he can, but it happens. They spend lazy afternoons in either of their beds just kissing and touching, pushing hands under shirts and mouths pressed to skin. Changkyun’s fine with that and Jooheon never pushes him any further. Changkyun thought he would want more, but he’s happy. For the first time since he got here he’s happy.

//

They push their beds together and sleep like that, and more often than not Changkyun falls asleep with Jooheon’s arm around him and wakes up sinking into the void between their mattresses.

//

All the words he can’t say are building up on the edge of his tongue but he finds actions are easier for him, so when he pushes Jooheon down on the bed and opens his jeans, he has to swallow down his nervousness to ask Jooheon if this is okay. Jooheon nods, his eyes heavy-lidded with arousal, and Changkyun puts his mouth on him, lets Jooheon fist a hand in his hair, learns to breathe properly and push himself, swallows what Jooheon spills down his throat, leans back with a satisfied smirk at the way Jooheon looks, blotchy-red with his dick hanging out.

“You amaze me,” Jooheon says, and that. Changkyun blushes, too, rests his forehead on Jooheon’s legs to hide it, only reappearing when his blush has gone down and Jooheon says, “Come here.” They lay down on the bed together and Jooheon jerks him off, too rough with just spit to lubricate his hand, but Changkyun comes all the same.

//

The last day of classes for the year is a Thursday, because their professors are human beings who feel compassion. Changkyun’s searching frantically for the last of his possessions he’s misplaced over the last year while Jooheon sits at his desk and works on a new song. 

“You haven’t seen a T-money card around here, have you?”

Jooheon glances up. “When did you lose it?” 

“I haven’t actually seen it since orientation, but I lost a bunch of stuff in the lecture hall. I tripped over and fell into some guy’s lap and everything fell out of my bag.”

Jooheon smirks at him, digs through one of the drawers in his desk and pulls out the card. It’s Changkyun’s, because it’s scratched all over and the label is peeling. “I knew that was you.”

“Wait, that was you?” 

Jooheon laughs and holds the card up, pulling it back out of Changkyun’s reach so he has to come closer, then pulling Changkyun into his lap, kissing him, the both of them laughing until they run out of breath.

**Author's Note:**

> im still on [twitter](http://twitter.com/skvllage) and have also opened up commissions so if u wanna help a hungry gal out heres [how to do it](https://twitter.com/skvllage/status/831746291172532224)


End file.
